Hello Readers. I know I said I would have a lot to post about CONvergence, but I don't. Today is my 21st anniversary. 21 years ago to the day I was put on a plane and flown here to America. Where they assumed I would have a happier life, A whole life.. To a place that was supposed to save my life.
This is not a day to celebrate, This is a day of agony. To know I have not been home in 21 years to the day breaks my heart in ways only the other homeless children of adoption could understand. Today I grieve. I grieve for the culture I lost, for the home I never got to know, for the memories of Korea I was robbed of, for the people I belong to, and for the woman who let me live. I grieve over the decision they made that took my life away forever.
Of course none of my friend's remember today. Not even the ones who have known me most of my life. I can't blame them though, We'd forget everyone's birthday too if Facebook didn't alert us. There is no Facebook calendar for this though. Thanks Mark Suckaberg.
My adoptive mom wants to go out to Buffalo Tap. It's an American establishment with crazy good burgers, But like very occasion she wants to out for its for her not the person. She is so selfish. Why would I want to celebrate something that deviates me. Why would I want to go to an American restaurant to celebrate this? I'm in this culture everyday! Why not thank the culture that gave you your child! Why not at least pretend for one day you don't hate everything Korean.. Please. Why am I expected to be grateful and to celebrate being in the states!! Adoptive parents should be grateful they have fucking children!! They should respect our culture and love US, Not shame us from our heritage and love that they were able to buy a family!!!
I really thought I would have been home right now, Celebrating being home. All I wanted for this summer was to go home. I just really needed to go home.. And I am so sad and angry I am stuck in America with people who for the most part really just don't care, don't understand, and want to.
Tonight I want to go eat some Asian food and get some Korean soju in me, Because like Zia I need to have a drink when no one shows up.
TWENTY-ONE YEARS AGO THEY DROWNED KANG SUN LEE, AND ALL THAT'S LEFT IS HER LIFELESS BODY MORGAN CLAIRE PEARSON!!! WHY DID YOU ANIMALS WHITEWASH KANG AWAY!! WHY IS SHE NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! TWENTY-ONE YEARS AGO SHE WAS TAKE FROM HER HOME, AND MURDER BY WHITE-AMERICAN CULTURE!!! YOU DIDN'T CHANGE ME, YOU KILLED WHO I WAS, WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!! AND I WILL NEVER STOP HATING YOU FOR IT!!!