Tuesday, 24 December 2013

A New Christmas Eve.

Hello a Readers. Every year my friends and lovers offer to take me home for the holidays. Naturally every year I decline. While I don't attend Christmas with my extended family, I do have a short Christmas morning with my adoptive family. This year this have been so different.

My adoptive parents left me home alone to be with their white daughter in AZ. I'm still super pissed and hate them over it. Me and Double D are over so his handmade card and gift is sitting on my work space. I have this whole cold house to myself..

Originally I was planning a hipster rager to fill the house, a handful of hipster friends, hipster lovers, and all of their hipster stranger friends. A drunk on cheep beer, vintage glasses, sexy single in oversized sweaters kind of thing. But since I'm mature and responsible, I decided to invite a few close friends for dinner. A spaghetti a and meatball dinner in fact! It turned out to be a few more than 4 people, and now they're all started calling to Spaghetti Christmas.

Another change for this year is accepting one of those friend offers. B is one of the handful of ladies I'd ever call to friend, one of my dearest friends actually. We actually met in elementary school at Girl Scout camp, and then went to junior high and high school together. We actually weren't close until later in high school. I'm lucky to know to her and have her in my life.

B and her family invited me to their Christmas Eve dinner. I actually had a lot of fun, it was interesting to see a well functioning, Caucasian-American extended family. They actually talked me into coming over tomorrow as well, but I'm going to dip out around 5pm. I need to get home and start things for Spaghetti Christmas @8pm.

Before I headed over to B's the woman who is like my big sister stopped by. Let's call her Lady C. I hadn't been able to meet up with her since I got back form as. Korea. She's also a Korean tootle and she really understands the things I go through as an adoptee. She is such a strong amazing woman, she my older sister, and my role model. I can't think of another person I'd aspire to be. We're hoping to see each other one more time before break is over for me.

I guess we'll see how Spaghetti Christmas goes..


Monday, 23 December 2013

Christmas Wishes.

Hello Readers.

I wish I had white skin.
I wish I could read and speak my birth language.
I wish I had been raised in a home filled with love.
I wish my adoptive parents could look past my skin.
I wish we had worked out as an adoptive family.
I wish those jerks weren't leaving me on Christmas.
I wish my adoptive sister and I were talking.
I wish we had said goodbye when she left.

I wish I was home in Korea for the holidays.
I wish I could find my mother.
I wish she could find me.

Every year since my baby time it's been the same sad empty feelings. But this year is different. I've been home, I've tasted Korea, and I've felt her heart on the breeze. I've been tearing my life apart for almost 23 years, and there's still no her. Not being home is killing me.

What I wish for most of all.. To see a picture, hear her voice, and tell her I love her.


Wednesday, 18 December 2013

The Slut Vote: Abortion.

Hello Readers. It's been awhile, let's talk about Rocking The Slut Vote.

I'm not a feminist, but I rock the SLUT vote hard! I love sex and love birth control. I don't need justify that I didn't ask to be raped. I believe in abortion rights for all woman. An adoptee supporting abortion? Well if there's not a legal way to do it, people will find other ways and none of us want that, do we?

Honestly people can abort, not abort, put up the baby for adoption, or keep the baby. That's not up to me. It's their body and their life. But for me personally, I could never abort my baby or give my child up for adoption. I'm a Korean adoptee, and my birth mother was raped by two male burglars. I was conceived through rape.

I am a rape baby who's been verbally sexually harassed, sexually assaulted, molested, and raped. But my birthmother put the part of me that was her first, and I can't imagine myself doing it any other way. Because of how I came into this world I believe if the fetus is aborted, but is still alive it should have it's own set of laws as a person, not the mother's property. If you didn't know born alive fetuses are considers the mother's property, not her child. She has ownership of "it" and it is illegal to save the fetus, or help it die quicker or painlessly.

A born alive fetus should be considered separate from the mother. If born alive we should be allowed to save the fetus' life, that's what all living things want right? Think of it as an extreme case of coming across someone that's unconscious and not breathing. Since they're unable to speak for themselves, it's legally assumed they want to live and if certified you can start helping them. I believe abortion should be legal, but a once the fetus has left the mother's body. She should not have ownership of it.

Do what's right for you, but also consider all the possibilities of doing the opposite.