Saturday, 3 December 2011

White Washed & Brainwashed.

Hello Readers. Three posts all back to back, Wow.

“These people were wrenched from their homeland, And disappeared into the cold seas of the Atlantic, Forgotten until today… I’d like to present the victims of the Amalia Rose…” Cam on Bones.

For starters by no means am I saying adoption is anything close to the inhumanities of slavery, But right now like back then a whole group of people is being looked over. Adoptees are imported to fill roles we have not signed up for. Growing up it was embedded in my mind that I should be grateful to be adopted into of all countries America. I should be grateful I have white parents, And the white privilege that comes along with it. I should be happy to be attracted to white males because that is the most socially accepted relationship in my Anglo-Saxon community. I should feel fortunate that I know of America and nothing else. According to everyone one I have ever met I should be so happy that adoption “saved my life”.

Please understand I am thankful for financial stability and my education, But I was saved from nothing! I was taken away from my home; The country where my family lived and died! Their bodies are in that soil, Not here! I can’t open my mouth and tell them how much I love them because the language I was made for does not exist in my mind. Almost 21 years of life and all I have ever really known is America. All I ever learned is how to be white. White family, White friends, Only dating white guys, Having half white babies are all things that are considered me bettering myself.

When you say white washed me is a better me, That means Korean me just wasn’t good enough. Being a Korean girl and Korean daughter just wasn’t good enough for America. You had to fix me; I had to be changed to accommodate you. I had to lose my real name because Korean Kang Sun just wasn’t as good as the American Morgan Claire. All I got from growing up is that if I lived white, If I lived American, Than I am almost as good as you. What is the point of submerging me in your culture, And suffocating me until you smother the Korean out? All you do when you’re done is tell me my hair will never be blonde, I will always tan dark in the sun, And my eyes will never be as blue or shaped like yours. I am weird for having hair that will do anything. I am hokum that can’t burn in the sun. I am a complete freak to have almond shaped eyes; I am a total alien to you. What is the point of suffocating me into a lifeless body? To you Korean and Chinese are laughably the same people. But I know that you are all Caucasian and that there is a difference between Norwegian, Swedish, German, And Irish. Still I am just a silly China doll for you to dress up however you want, And throw aside because I am not white enough to play with.

Why does race even matter? Why does race have to matter? Why is race the only thing that matters? I wish I had larger eyes, I wish I had creased eyelids, And I wish I could get the surgery to look western like you. It makes me so sick and discussed that I have been wishing for that since I was 12. You all took turns white washing me.. Now for once look at what you have done!

내 마음이 섬의 세계에서 가장 긴 사슬처럼 생각하는 생각에서 수영이다 .. 어머니 당신은 서양 볼시겠습니까? 좀 더 서쪽되고 싶어요있을 딸과 아들을합니까? 난 흰 빨래부터 세뇌당한 느낌 ... 저는 한국과 아무것도 작성되지 할로윈 바랍니다. 저는 여러분 모두에게 너무나 사랑 해요.

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