Hello Readers! I was out with Jordan tonight to pick up some last minute things he needs for my sister’s wedding. (Yup, He’s my date. We’re going to swing dance during cocktail hour, Lol!) We’re at H&M and I’m trying to get him to see the handsome nerdyness of suspenders when my phone goes off. I take it out of my bag, And the ID says “Children’s Home Society”… Now my social worker Kabin has only called me a couple other times, And I knew those were coming because I had messaged her. I hadn’t messaged her! My heart is skipping beat after beat as I flip open my phone.. Kabin asked what I was doing, And I said shopping for my sister’s wedding, And I’m happy to hear form her. I say all of this in my weird “I’m talking to Kabin” state of shock and scared she might have the worst news of my life.
She says the Korean agency, Eastern Child Welfare Society, Has contacted her and she has new information on my birth mother. I grabbed Jordan’s hand because in the back of my mind I’m still aware I’m in a store at Mall of America, And I am not going to cry in public. Kabin repeats herself because I’m in shock, And asks when I can meet her so she can tell me.
So now I’m meeting her tomorrow at 12. She said she can tell me the information she knows, And it’s not a lot, And not to be freaked out right now. She also said we can talk about everything and see what we want to do next and how, And the next step for the search is locating… Locating my family. Oh my god. This means I could get the thing I’ve been wishing for since I was a little girl, I could get everything I have been begging and hoping for my whole life. This is truly amazing, and scary, And I am so over whelmed. Just imagine the one miracle you have always need and wanted to happen in your life, That’s what I’m aiming to make happen for me.
Of course in the back of my mind this could also be bad news, crushing news, news that will break my heart in ways I can’t even believe are possible.. This could be really bad, And of course I’d still push to search for other family, And learn about her through them, And give the love I’ve always planned for them, And all the love I have been saving for her… But on the brighter side of the moon.. I could be getting back all the missing pieces that were taken away from me when I was four months old… And in this case, Every little piece does count and mean more to than every breath I have taken.
어머니 .. 당신에 대한 소식을 알게입니다. 그것이 최근의 경우 있을까, 아니면 그것은 행복 또는 슬픈면. 나는 어떤 문제가 그것이 좋은 것이 얼마나 미미한지를 않습니다 바랍니다. 이 나에게 기쁨이 아닌 고통을 가져다 바랍니다. 이 다시 건너 우리의 삶에 happ 단계입니다 바랍니다. 난 당신이 물 사랑은 떨어져 강과 바다의 사랑이되고 싶어.