Hello Readers. Today is World Suicide Awareness Day. Everyone's life has been touched by depression and suicide. Weather a friend or family member has been lost to their own hands or we know someone with depression all of our lives have been touched by this. So touched in fact I think it's safe to say we've all had these thoughts of "What if I killed myself", "No one cares about me", or "I wish I was dead". It's deeply saddening and very humbling that this really is relatable for all of us,That going through some sort of depression is human.
I've shared before that I've had sever depression since I was a child. Even as a 3 year old I knew I wasn't happy like everyone else. It wasn't until 4th grade that I learned what depression and suicide was and realized that's what I had. Now I am getting help and have been going to therapy for a couple of years. I'm still depressed and sometimes suicidal thoughts spike up in my mind, but getting help does help and it does work. I promise you will not regret it. It might take a few times to find the right therapist or counselor for you, but when you do it is so worth the effort in sharing your thoughts and feelings.
I still feel hopeless, and some days I can barely get out of bed. Other days I wake up and feel perfect like a burst of fresh air and sunshine. But most days I wake up and it's hard to get ready for the day, and to keep my focus. Sometimes I look outside and the sky is this perfect smooth grey cloud, it's bright and flawless, and I think "Today is the day. Today feels right." But then I still wake up the next morning.
It seems crazy to have these constant dark thoughts, and even nuttier to not just do it when it hurts so badly.. But when I think about all the teens and adoptees I help everyday I just can't. I can't leave them behind, I can't let them sink back into themselves and not get help. They need to be heard, You deserve to be heard. And I will always always be hear to tell you that and encourage you to speak up. It's a burden to live with my thoughts everyday, but I can't even imagine how disappointed with myself I'd be if I ever left leave all the people I do help and could help behind.
I've lost so many close friends to their own hands and I miss them dearly. Wonderfully loving and talented people. Artists, singers, writers, musicians, athletes, actors, and all sorts of other amazing gifts have been lost because they couldn't bare living anymore. I refuse to let their deaths be silenced because their lives do matter. Maybe they didn't believe that at the time, But I do!
If you suspect of or know a friend is in a dark place, Please please reach out to them or tell an adult. It's better to have them mad at you for spilling, than live without them knowing you could have gotten them help. If you're still with us, if you're still holding on please know that you are important and that you do matter. If you yourself is in a dark place please tell someone, please share with someone. It helps so much to talk about it. Make a secret blog or tumbler
Maybe you're a close friend of mine or maybe we're total strangers, but I can say with complete confidence that I love you. You are my fellow human being, and I respect and value your life no matter what you've done in your life. Love is love is love.