Tuesday, 11 September 2012

It's Been A Year.

Hello Readers. It's been one year since I started this blog! Can you believe it? I started this journey with you a year ago and we're no where near done yet, but we've accomplished so much. I started my search and received two big pieces of heartbreaking news, and survived it. My search has been closed and I've opened the chapter of bringing it to the media.

This year has brought so many ups and downs, but it's been amazing. I am so glad I've been able to share it all with you. I've had a million new fights with my adoptive family. My dad hates all of this because it hurts him as a parent to not be enough for me. My sister and I haven't talked most of the year and dislike each other for being ourselves. My mom and I haven't gotten closer, but we talk about so much more now. More than I ever thought we could, Although we fight just as much.

The circle of people I surround myself with from the beginning of this has changed as well. I've lost friends, I've made new ones, I've been on a lot of dates, and have met a lot of wonderful people. I've been seeing old friends more often, and making a lot of fantastic connections in the Asian-American and adoptee communities. I've also been making a lot more nerdy, geeky, and underground connections. The kind I had when I was younger. I really missed that world.

My whole daily life has changed as well. I run a lot more, hike every week, and work on climbing and camping. I've been kicking ass in soccer, and plan to keep going till I'm back on the same level I was when I quit as a teen. I've been doing the most intimate sketching and work of my life. I hope to start them all into large pieces soon for a personal collection. I'm looking for places to host them when they're done in a few months. I cook Korean food half of the week as well. It's crazy to think a week with out good kimchi isn't normal for me now.

A lot of things have happend this past year. Most of it wouldn't have happend without your support, and none of this would mean as much without your support. Thank you all so so much for being with me all year. It's been crazy, heartbreaking, and full of incredible growth. Your emails mean the world to me. Hearing your thoughts, receiving your support, and being able to help you is such an honor. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


  1. Thank you for this… I mean I’ve always been skinny, my metabolism is kind of its only little crazy person that runs away on its own sometimes, but this actually made me look at my life and realize I’ve been losing weight and that it actually is an eating disorder... I don’t consciously want to disappear but subconsciously I do. Ryder’s made my life so much better but the rest of my life is kind of a mess and reading this actually made me realize it… Hopefully I can reevaluate where I’m at and work on things, but thank you again.

    1. You're welcome so much. I'm glad this helped you take the time to analyze yourself. Self analyzation is such a hard to do, that most people don't do. I'm sorry for what ever is going on that's manifesting itself into an eating disorder. It's your brain's safety net. Like a behind the counter way of dealing with something, When it's too hard for you to deal with. You're son is an amazing gift, and I'm glad you find happiness having him in you're life . I hope you are able to work on things and find better answers :]