Wednesday, 31 May 2017

2 Names.

Hello Readers. What is your name? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to your family? I think these answers are more important than if your first name is Celtic and your last name is an Ellis Island nightmare of Swedish heritage. Ha, that's my American name!

This is on my mind tonight because I'm over explaining my name to people. I don't need to defend my adoption to Asians, and I don't need to explain my "exotic" looks to white people.

I was raised by my very white Minnesotan adoptive parents' to be their Caucasian-American daughter. From 4 months old I have been socially white AF. I have a white legal name, and a white background, and have white privileges. In my late teens and especially now I am trying to memorize my adoptive mom's stories and recipes. Unlike my adoptive parents though, outside of our home I was expected to be a token Asian in our angelo saxon suburb. And everywhere else for that matter.

I also have Korean DNA and probably a bunch of Asian DNA. Unlike Korean nationals, my DNA isn't allowed to do all the work in making me a "real" Korean. I literally had to learn my mother culture, pop culture, adoptee culture, cooking, and keep trying to learn my mother tongue to prove I truly am a Korean woman. I cook more dishes and do it better than most of the adoptees and Koreans I know. My Korean itself is awful. But I can order a pitcher of Cass and Nana Chicken, and I'm fine with that.

I have names for both of these worlds and I like them both. Morgan Claire Pearson. Lee, KangSun.

I really like who I am. I have learned I'm not 2 completely different people. I am one person who enjoys the privileges of western society and enjoys nesting herself in an Asian bubble. I've grown a lot to be able to accept both sides. I will continue to learn my mother tongue and I will continue to educate white people on Asian culture by being white right back at them. 


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