Monday, 21 October 2013

KAS: New Searching Method

Hello Readers. Today my case worker will be back in the office and she'll shoot me an email about the *new method* of birth searching through KAS. If I don't try this and remain inactive, they'll close my case on New Years and I can try again in a few years.

I have no idea what this new method is and I'm still very sketchy on how KAS works. The number one thing I've learned in the past two years is they always know more than they can tell you. But I'm sick of being in hiding. Knowing my case is considered "inactive" makes me a little sick of myself. I need to shake all the bad from my trip home, so I can get my head back in the game. This means admitting what happened over there, the parts I didn't enjoy.. The parts that made me cry, want to give up, and fly stateside everyday.

It sucks not talking about it with people, but I'd like to hold into my pride for a little bit longer. Eventually I'll spill the beans later this week. Promise.

For now my head is all about this new hope in searching. I don't know what the new method or challenges with it will be, but this is another shot at searching. It's only a tiny ray of light through the grey clouds.. But it's still so warm and perfectly golden on my skin. Truth be told I'm still very worn from summer's touch, but to not soak this in now would be me letting down myself. And I have enough white people letting me down already! I'm ready to start bad-assing my adoptee issues again!

Ok fellow KADs, Listen up! Let's get on our war paint, let's go in fearless, and part these clouds for a chance of hope! This is my best shot for the next 3 years, and maybe at the best Christmas I could ever dream of..


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