Hello Readers. I'm currently on a Korean Air flight headed to home. The past few days I've felt so ready, but the fact that I'm not meeting any of my family and is killing me. Knowing I'm in the same country, under the same set of stars at the same time as them makes me so happy.. But not knowing if they're passed the same ground I'm walking on is terrifying. It wasn't until I was inline to check in for Korean Air that I was over whelmed with sadness and thankfulness.
I keep tearing up.. Oh my god I am going home! I'm deeply feeling the "return to sender effect". It hurts so badly, like my heart being strangled in thick smoke, that this didn't work out.. That my adoption just didn't work out. As a 22 year old I find myself to have grown up into an intelligent and passionate young adult. I've grown up enough to send myself back. I just hope home fills everything my 3 year old heart has been starving for.
Looking around the plane I'm surrounded by Koreans, and I feel normal. I'm totally still the fat girl, but they all look like me damn it! Who would have thought such a place existed? A place that I'm not a freak, that I'm not exotic, or have the darkest hair.. I don't even feel weird or scared to be around so many Asians. I feel how all my white friends must feel like when they go anywhere. Of course >_< crying and sniffling probably makes me stick out a little :3
I feel really good about this guys. I feel like I can be happy; I'm going home