They have the whole weekend planned.
My adoptive mom keeps texting me updates, and I just.. I simply don't feel like I belong to any of these family outings, and it makes me really sad. Yesterday I was talking to my therapist racking my brain as to why my adoptive mom was flying her out when she'd be flying out to see the baby in summer. Then it hit me; my adoptive sister is going to be *a mother*. I don't feel like a sister or an aunt, and I didn't even realize my adoptive sister as a mother-to-be. That's how disconnected to her I am.
I am so friggen stressed over seeing her at Sunday brunch that.. I can't sleep at all. The other night I cut off 3 small pieces of my skin. The person she is when she's not under someone's thumb, when she is so comfortable she's being weirder than me.. That's the funny silly creeper I miss.
I grew up with this woman, only four years apart, and we have become compleat strangers. All we have in common now is the paperwork.
I miss my birthmother..